Caw caw caw.
I was afraid of making some unrecoverable blunder that I wouldn’t recognize until it was too late. To remain paralyzed was to remain “safe”, because I was too uncertain of my own judgement to seize an opportunity to alter what was familiar.
Why? Why? Why?
“Why” can’t ever be extracted from my heart and mind. It’s nestled like a botfly in my soul. Uncomfortable but familiar, and hard not to think about.
Must explore the why. It is exhausting; or maybe I’m exhausted for other reasons.
Either way, another day.
Wish I could work from home.