It used to feel very good to wake up, have my coffee, get in the car, do my thing at the coffee shop, then start the day, then do the day, then end the day, then hit the gym, then come back and read, and then fall asleep. That was great. I liked it. I felt like I had enough opportunities during my business to read and write and listen to music; and I was getting a few “meals” a day.
Now that the house is a mess, I don’t have any cups to put my juice in. My room doesn’t make me feel good. I wake up a bit later every morning, and it takes me a bit longer each time to find something to wear. All of this contributes to my state of mind and productivity throughout the day, but by the end of the day, due to my lack of lunch and breakfast due to my lack of preparedness due to my waking up too late (etc. etc.,) I don’t have the energy to go to the gym or clean.
This is the decline. I can feel it.
BUT, today I got the news back about my internship application.
They’re offering me the position!
Holy … expletive.
Two internships this summer. One of which is giving me 3 upper-level credits for my English minor, the other is paid!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! All of this, from page 25 of Kijiji, browsing that night, stressed and sure I’d end up at Chapters or god forbid Mr. Sub again.
I know I should make this more professional and subdued and humble and to the point and other such good things, but really I’m just in a wide-eyed state of “o___o” right now. Tomorrow I will try and get back into my routine, because that will wrench myself off the rails of “downswing” and put me back into neutral / good territory emotionally. There’s no reason why I should be feeling bad right now.
When I got home tonight, I went out and got my bangs cut into a completely new style. Hah! I am bright and shiny and new! Take that, life!
Coming tomorrow: Details about the actual internship opportunity and practical advice.