Stubbourn Through Stigma
It only took a few days of blogging for this issue to come up; I thought maybe I’d get a few months of peace, but alas.
There’s a thing about me that I am debating sharing with the public world. I want to be genuinely me, unapologetically; why not? I am successful and intelligent. But, I also don’t want to hinder any future successes through what I share here.
The fact that I feel that way, though, completely messes me up.
That’s the stigma.
Already! Already it messes with me, and I have to either meek-out and back-down and hide, or bull forward with who I am and deal with the heartbreak that it could generate in the future.
I know I’m not the only one. Do I owe it to the children to be bold? What if the brave women of yesterday had just shut up to keep life easy for themselves? Who was it that said that if you’re terrified, then you’re probably on the right track?
This is all especially poignant and poking at my mind, because of my current work environment. I sit there writing and reading articles about stigma in the workplace from the perspective of “we support you!”
But is it genuine? Am I safe? Probably not. It’s irrelevant to them whether I am bipolar or not, because I get things done.
There, I said it.
I have a lot to say about it; I don’t want to cut out a huge chunk of my voice on this blog by pretending to be someone I’m not. I’ve been feeling lately like I’ve been hiding in plain sight.That’s why I share; Because I couldn’t write about anything else this morning and couldn’t justify casting my mind about for a safer topic.
Now that I’ve said this, I can work on my later-today post, which is going to be about success from a bipolar perspective.
I am who I am. *shrug*